Her eyes look tired and worn as she sits by the hospital bed again

And not for the first time wonders silently if the end will be this time

She's done this so many times before

And it never gets easier with each time

She watches the small body sleep drawing in each ragged breath

Praying for the next breath to come

Then when it does she too breathes

But when it stops

Her breath stops too

Along with her heart

He looks so peaceful

Except for the tubes and wires attached

And the look of pain each time he coughs or tries to move

She asks a lot of questions just sitting there

Why

When

For What

And although she never hears the answers

She goes on doing what she has to do

Because as she looks down to the angel lying there

She sees not a sick thing fighting

But the little boy

Who, in healthy times, smiles and giggles

Who will lay with her & just stare into her eyes and says so much

For his voice which cannot

And she knows the time will come when she must say goodbye

She accepts this

She makes every second matter

So she knows at the end

She will be at peace

That she made his life what it was

It was a good life with so much love and affection

There will be no question if he knew this

Or if she told him that

He will go to fly with the angels

Knowing in this life he was loved

And she will have a guardian angel holding her forever.

Jms 8/5/00